I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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