My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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