You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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