You're completely useless in the revolution.
please come you make the beer taste better
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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