i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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