For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize