your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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