The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
