chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
