I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
