We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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