omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize