She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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