his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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