Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
