We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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