You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
