I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
