Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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