i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
