so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
