Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
