That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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