there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
