pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
