Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
