I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
