why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
