I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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