just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
