if i can run in heels then i can drive
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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