Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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