hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
