Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
