just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
