my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
