Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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