ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
