Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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