I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
4 words: hood of his car
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
