I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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