If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
