It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
