Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
did you just send me my own nude
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
