I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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