All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish my penis had a tongue
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize