she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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