This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
