just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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