There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
don't judge my taste in strippers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
