Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dear god my vagina.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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