He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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