a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
