do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
