I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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