After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
