This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
