that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
