dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
