He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
