Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I smell like Dick and happiness
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
