I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she looked like the before picture.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
