wanna go halves on a baby?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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