But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
