im so drunk with asians
where?
always
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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