Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
