so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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