a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
