Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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