Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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