were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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