he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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